About me
I’m Elena Marchetti, LMFT. I’m a licensed marriage and family therapist, and I’ve spent twelve years working with couples — a lot of them on the bedroom side of connection. Before I became a therapist I trained in couples counseling under the Gottman Method, and a good chunk of what you’ll read here traces back to that framework, applied to the messier questions real couples ask me in my office.
Every couple I see walks in assuming they’re the only ones dealing with whatever they’re dealing with. They’re not. This site exists so the private stuff feels a little less isolating.
How I write
I don’t write about research I haven’t read. Where I cite a study, I read the methods section, not just the abstract. Where the research is messy (and in sex and couples research, it often is), I tell you it’s messy. I won’t pretend certainty I don’t have.
I also write from the therapy room. When I describe something like “the pursuer-distancer dynamic” or “sensate focus,” I’m describing patterns I see with clients every week, not just something from a textbook.
What I won’t do
- No “10 tricks to drive him wild” content. Intimacy isn’t a trick.
- No product reviews I was paid for. If I recommend something, the recommendation is mine.
- No gendered shame, on either side.
Scope
I write for long-term couples — dating 2+ years, married, partnered, whatever the label. Shorter relationships have different dynamics and I mostly don’t cover those. This site is also written with heterosexual cis couples as the default audience, but most of the advice applies more broadly. I’ll call out where it doesn’t.
Not therapy
Reading an article is not the same as sitting in a room with a good therapist. If intimacy issues are persistent, distressing, or tied to trauma, please see a licensed couples therapist in your area. I maintain a referral page with directory resources on the contact page.